Tap tap tap… tapping away at the keyboard… pressing away the pain.. pressing forward in my mind, thoughts and fears. I wonder if others care to notice. I wonder if that is what drives me. I think that there is something else.. I recognize that this progress is not sustainable without a feeling that I am contributing towards a greater cause.. something that we are all connected to.. similar to something that presses for the advancement of the fellow that sits alongside us in the bunker.

Because we are all in this fight together… we are all at war with something.. a thought or a fear.. and most times it is something that will never come to pass.. most times we are expecting more than we deserve.. we grow accustomed to a future that has been built up in the clouds and we cry down raindrops on the beauty of the lands below.. forgetting what is going on this moment.. something beautiful.. something placid.. and serene..

I press forward with the hope that I will find something other than my ego. I press forward with the hope that I will live on forever in little bits of code spread thin across the internet.. peppering the ocean with thoughts of love and justice.. pressing buttons like we only have this moment to be alive.

I wonder what it is I’ll dream about tonight.. something of a hero.. or will I be lost in a world transfixed on the self.. I’m not alone in these selfish little endeavors and I aim to root them out.. I aim to give myself to everything.. one little bit at a time.. giving of myself a piece of me that I’m afraid to let go.. always lost in a single moment watching flashes at the movies pop out of sight and beyond my grasp. Much of this does not make sense to me. Much of this should be ignored. I ask you do not hold me to a level I cannot reach because when I wake up early, it’s all really just a waste. The day I start tomorrow is everything in me now. The day I embraced just yesterday built these shoulders that I’ll use to stand. One day at a time.

Just one day at a time.

And I must remember to breathe… there are others in your position that just need to know they’re not alone.. express this love to others and be the person you see. Keep painting.. keep digging for answers… despite what you might see. This is just the beginning, like any other thing. We are not alone in this universe but I have nothing other than a gut that tells me… its all about making this place a heaven.. a place that we love to call home.. we are all in this together, in case you didn’t already notice… just keep pressing forward.. with each clack of the keys.. we are all in this together.. there’s nothing left to see.