Well, here we are again… at last… we meet again… I feel like these quick little writing sessions are like fighting a mini-boss at the end of a level… maybe it has something to do with the music that is pumping through the speakers right now… I could tone it down with a little soft classical music, but the drive and the rattling of my mind would slow me in my writing… I aim for high energy.. aiming for a high energy physiology.. in my writing… in my face-to-face conversation.. understanding that the connections we make are the only things that make us human. Without these connections we would be nothing more than wild animals seeking food in the moonlight. I passed out under the stars the other night… after crossing the streets in my mind. Lost in little else than a space created for one. I have to learn to lower my walls… to let people understand that I am just as sensitive as you… and just as protected with my thoughts as everyone else… it hurts to keep the walls up… and there is nothing worse than feeling alone in this world… that’s why I am starting to write more.. just letting my fingers tap away at the keyboard. From time to time, I prefer to hand-write my sessions… but I have graduated to a point where it just sucks to have a burst of ideas where I can’t keep up with the progress of my thoughts and I am forced to truncate my sentences.. forgetting connections … falling one step behind… I just need to close my eyes and not think or contemplate the words that pop up on the page… I just watch the word count stack up and know that I will get there from nothing.. pulling something from the void.. it could be anything. I wonder if other people online take the same chances with their writing. I wonder if I am just being lazy about the creation of my own content. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to take the time to be sure that the words I type and the structure that I use communicate everything in the most effective manner possible? I’m guilty. Guilty of hitting that fucking backspace button again… like I am racing through a maze to find the cheese and I strike a sudden dead end… maybe I type like this because I haven’t ever been able to find the cheese. Maybe the cheese doesn’t actually exist. Maybe the cheese is about the journey.. maybe this is all bullshit.

Hit the reset button.

It’s going to be ok. Just remember to breathe… we are all in this together and there is a reason you are on this path. We all have to find something. No one is going to be able to magically paint your vision for you. We wouldn’t want it that way. We have to learn to trust our intuition and preach love. There is no room for anything else.