How I Know That I’m Afraid – This is my 500 for 12/10/2017

Peter
I am just so afraid. I know that must be the case right now because I am so full of anger… anger over the silliest little things in my life… and I can let them control my emotions when I let them. It is not worth my time to entertain them and it is hurtful to the people that I love and care about that are around me. I am on this journey alone but there is now the need for me to walk it with you. I just don’t know how to get myself on a track where I…
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Why I Stopped Smoking Weed – This is my 500 Word Freewrite for 12/9/2017

Peter
Few bands can make my hair stand on end like Muse. Everything resonates with me. I hear something.. a story that boosts my mood. I think that the piano-heavy aspect of their music is what pulls me in the most. I wonder what I am to do with this energy.. that is something that I consciously have to be better at directing towards my larger goals in life.   To be clear, all this chit chat and banter in the previous post about seeing through a break in the fog is related to watching the most recent documentary about Bill Nye.…
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This is my 500 for 12/8/2017

Peter
What is the point of life if not to create as many experiences as possible?   We are tied to the idea that we want to live forever while neglecting the power of living a life full of flavor.   When we branch out of our comfort zones and we create a new dimension to our being, we create a brighter world for everyone else as well… the focus for me, for so long, has been on the cutthroat accumulation of finances.. and that part is something that I wrestled with because it is not a worthy goal on its…
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This is my 500 for 12/7/2017

Peter
Little hiccups… words and thoughts repeating doubt and remorse.. all based in fear.. all thoughts limited by my own limitless beliefs. Squares inside of circles.. and lines are drawn outside the book. The tap. The course we are on is only for the individual to travel.. we all have our own course. Maybe something needs to be done. I say that again and again.. just as I repeat that we are not alone. We look up to the stars for answers.. forgetting that we are creators.. creators of the illest of intentions.. creators of peace and of war… but dwelling…
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This is my 500 for 12/6/2017

Peter
I wonder what will come out today.. in this moment I am alive.. in the next, I am thinking about the last moment. Caught in a self-imposed loop at times but learning to withdraw from the madness.. the same madness that, so often, connects us, albeit on a more superficial level of thought. We are here for so much more than a superficial connection. We are here for so much more than we often think. Why have we lost sight of this? Why have we forgotten to cherish these moments? To cherish all life? Have we never really been at…
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This is my 500 for 12/5/2017

Peter
Type type type type flow with the keys.. like fingers rolling along the notes on a piano.. rolling from one melody to the next… searching for a rhythm and finding a beat... feeling the bass flutter with a thought of life.. heart beating in unision.. wondering where the next idea will come from...   I am so hung up on trying to find perfection.   I have to learn to just let go. This place is not for me alone.. this life we have is shared. We are all looking for answers in the same sandbox.. building and smashing dreams..…
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This is my 500 for 12/4/2017

Peter
Tap tap tap… tapping away at the keyboard… pressing away the pain.. pressing forward in my mind, thoughts and fears. I wonder if others care to notice. I wonder if that is what drives me. I think that there is something else.. I recognize that this progress is not sustainable without a feeling that I am contributing towards a greater cause.. something that we are all connected to.. similar to something that presses for the advancement of the fellow that sits alongside us in the bunker. Because we are all in this fight together… we are all at war with…
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This is my 500 for 12/3/2017

Peter
Locate the self. Pull it all in. You know the person that you are when you collect your thoughts… place them all in a jar and light them on fire.. what burns away are the temporary.. the fleeting material possessions that we are convinced make us better people. I want to learn to live with less… the goal in life is the experience that I wish to create.. the experience that I paint is a piece of art that is being added to.. constantly.. and I am the only one that decides when it is done. But what if the…
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This is my 500 for 12/2/2017

Peter
Dammit. I waited until the end of the night to begin this project and now I have to pull myself out of this half slumber. At least my stomach is stuffed with Fat Burger… it was an unhealthy, albeit satisfying amount for me to consume.. no wonder I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open right now… I have to get to bed soon… I was thrown off today and that’s what I want to talk about for a little bit here.. I reached a peak state of energy this morning, stoked for the day and eager to…
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This is my 500 for 12/1/2017

Peter
Well, here we are again… at last… we meet again… I feel like these quick little writing sessions are like fighting a mini-boss at the end of a level… maybe it has something to do with the music that is pumping through the speakers right now… I could tone it down with a little soft classical music, but the drive and the rattling of my mind would slow me in my writing… I aim for high energy.. aiming for a high energy physiology.. in my writing… in my face-to-face conversation.. understanding that the connections we make are the only things…
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